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Welcome To
Bizarre Police Chronicles
Issue No. 7
May 18, 2000
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Hello once again to all my regular subscribers and welcome to
all new subscribers. This is the 7th weekly issue. I hope you
enjoy the interesting stories and special features of this
edition. Please feel free to e-mail copies of this newsletter
to your friends, relatives, and associates. Let them also
experience the "Bizarre Police Chronicles."
Index:
Drilling For Diamonds!
Better Off Behind Bars!
Chicken From Heaven!
Purse Snatcher Becomes Drag Queen!
Strange And Bizarre Laws!
Dumb Excuse Department!
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Drilling For Diamonds!
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Three men rented space in a building next to a jewelry store.
Their intent was to break into the jewelry store and steal
as much as they could. This was to be a hole in the wall entry.
One of the men previously worked for this store and knew the
layout of where everything was located. From this information,
the three men had determined that they could enter the store
by drilling a hole in the wall of the rented area. It was a
common wall that the rented area and jewelry store shared.
They knew that the jewelry store had an alarm system for the
doors and windows, but they could enter through the wall in<
the stores stock room completely undetected.
Late one night when the jewelry store was closed, the three
men attempted to drill a hole in the wall in order to reach
the stock room.
Somehow, they had miscalculated. When they drilled through the
wall, they discovered that the walls were not connected. There
was a small ally separating the wall to the building they were
in and that of the jewelry store. Not wanting to give up, they
decided to drill through the second wall. They were sure that
their calculations were still correct. However, now they would
have to drill through an additional wall.
After hours of hard work, they finally made it through the wall.
To their shock, they had drilled their way into an ice cream
shop that was located next to the jewelry store. Not only did
these three men find the ice cream shop on the other side of the
wall, they also discovered that the police were waiting for
them.
They were caught in the act because the owner of the ice cream
shop had decided to do some late night bookkeeping chores. He
entered his store about 5 minutes before our great jewel thieves
made their way through. Upon entering his store, the shop owner
heard the drilling noise and immediately called the police.
Officers patrolling nearby were able to quickly respond. They
were waiting inside the ice cream shop just one or two minutes
before the three made it through the wall.
The three of them are now serving prison terms. Their drilling
days are over. They may have to use spoons to escape and that
could take some time even if they correctly calculate what walls
to dig under.
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Better Off Behind Bars!
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A man, attempting to rob a bar, loudly announced to everyone that
"This is a stick-up, put your hands up and don't move or I'll
shoot." Little did this man know that the bar was owned by a
retired police officer and that most of the patrons in the bar
were off duty policemen.
In less than a moment, this would be robber was looking down the
gun barrels of at least 5 police officers. He immediately
dropped his gun and surrendered. No shots were fired, but the
would be robber lost his lunch, if you know what I mean.
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Chicken From Heaven!
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A Texas woman tried stealing a chicken from the meat counter of a
local grocery store. She placed the chicken inside her jumper
suit and left the store. Only moments later a police officer
approached her and asked her about the theft of the chicken.
Surprised that she had been caught, she made up the story that
the chicken had fallen from the sky and had landed in her arms.
She explained that she concealed the chicken because she didn't
want to be blamed for stealing it. This woman kept insisting that
this story was true, but admitted the theft when police showed
her a security video that caught her in the act of boosting the
chicken.
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Purse Snatcher Becomes Drag Queen!
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A man snatched a purse from a woman as she was walking down a
street in a Michigan suburb. The purse contained only a few
dollars in cash, no credit cards and a payroll check for a
little over $300. The check was already endorsed.
Our witty purse snatcher decided to dress as a woman and cash
the check at the local bank,located only several blocks from the
scene of the crime. When he presented the check for payment, the
already suspicious teller asked for an I.D. When our man in
disguise was unable to produce proof of his identity, the teller
pressed a security button and a security guard was summoned.
The man's disguise was not what gave him away. The teller was
the sister of the person for whom the check was made out to. She
recognized the signature on the check. Not only that, the person
the check was made out to was a man. His first name was Pat. Our
purse snatcher assumed that the check belonged to the lady he
robbed. The victim of the purse snatcher was taking her husband's
check to the bank when she was robbed.
Police were already looking for this man after the woman reported
that she had been robbed. Only the disguise prevented him from
being arrested any sooner.
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Strange And Bizarre Laws!
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Some of these laws are still on the books, while others no
longer exist. In any case, I hope you find them amusing and
somewhat thought provoking.
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In Washington state, lollipops are not allowed. This is or was
a state law.
Don't ride a train in Washington state, you might be on it for
a very long time. A state law prohibits two trains, that
approach the same crossing, from proceeding until the other has
passed.
Women! If you ride a bus or train in Seattle, Washington, Be
Warned! You better bring a pillow with you in the event you
must sit on a man's lap. It's an automatic six month jail
sentence if you don't place a pillow on the man's lap before
you sit there.
Morocco has a very strict and I would say bizarre law regarding
possession of narcotics: Anyone accompanying a person possessing
narcotics can also be tried for the crime, even if unaware the
person they are with has narcotics. It doesn't matter if you
prove you had no knowledge of your companions possession. You
can still be guilty of the crime.
NO doubt you have seen bath tubs with the popular four legged
design that looks like animal paws! Well, in Kansas City,
Missouri, the installation of this bath tub design is against
the law. What? Do law makers believe the tubs are going to come
to life and run away from home. Maybe they believe that if the
bath tubs do run away, they may also take their owners with
them while they are taking a bath. This could cause the owners
to be indecently exposed in public.
In Minnesota, a state law requires all bath tubs to have feet. I
don't think this one is still on the books. But at least you can
own a tub with feet without breaking the law.
In St. Cloud, Minnesota, its against the law to eat hamburger on
Sunday.
In Alaska, you are prohibited from waking a sleeping bear to shoot
a photograph, but it's not against the law to shoot a bear with a
gun.
In Natchez, Missouri, you are prohibited by law from trying to
intoxicate an elephant. I guess that's a good law! I sure
wouldn't want to be in the path of a drunken elephant.
Alberta, Canada provides a person being released from prison
with a handgun (bullets included) and a horse so s/he can get
out of town. I sure hope this law is off the books by now!
In the Providence of Brunswick, you are not allowed to drive
on the roads. I guess that's what the side walks or for.
I hope the following Indiana law no longer exist. Why it was a law
in the first place is hard to understand. The law prohibits
anyone from taking a bath between October and March. This law
really stinks. At least, if the law were ever enforced, the
offenders would smell good.
Detroit, Michigan prohibits you from tying your alligator to a
fire hydrant.
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Dumb Excuse Department!
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Here are some really dumb and bizarre excuses people give when
caught in the act of breaking the law!
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A man was arrested for possession of cocaine. He claimed that he
was homeless and that the jacket the cocaine was in, was a jacket
he had found.
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Another man claims that the stolen car he was driving belonged
to his father's best friend's uncle who borrowed the car from
his grandfather's boss.
According to this man, the owner of the car is out of town most
of the time and he loans his car to almost anyone in need and he
allows them to loan it out to anyone. This way the car always
has someone to take care of it.
It turned out that the car was owned by a teenager and had been
reported stolen from a school parking lot.
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A man was stopped by police because the car he was driving was
weaving on and off the road and over the center line. While
the officer was approaching the car, the passenger switched
seats with the driver. The passenger, now claiming to be the
driver, attempted to explain that he was learning to drive and
was still having some difficulty with night driving. He
presented a driver's permit to the officer hoping that the
policeman would buy his story and just give him a warning.
The officer saw the switch and demanded to see the drivers
license of the passenger who was actually the driver. The driver
turned passenger could not provide a license, but kept insisting
that he didn't need to produce a drivers license because he was
the passenger.
Well, the officer could handle this situation in a number of ways.
He did choose the correct course of action. The real driver ended
up being arrested for careless and in prudent driving, DWI and for
not having a valid drivers license. It was later discovered that
this man's license had been revoked and that he had many previous
DWI charges. The real passenger, according to the officer, was
probably drunker than the real driver. He was not tested, but the
officer reported the smell of alcohol on the passenger's breath.
Also, when the real passenger exited the drivers' side of the car,
he fell down three times just trying to make his way back to the
officer's car.
Both men were taken into custody and brought to the police station.
The real driver was booked. The passenger was held for his own
safety until a friend arrived to take him home.
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Well, that's all for this issue. As always, I hope you enjoyed
is as much as I enjoyed bringing it to you. If you like my
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Best Wishes,
Jerry Romans
Editor
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